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According to my pitch, as the final show wrapped up, the real Late Night set would dissolve to a tiny Lego version Conan was playing with on the floor of an employees’ break room at a stud farm, where Conan had spent his last 16 years charged with the task of manually masturbating thoroughbred horses. (I think the final stage direction in my sketch was “In the distance, a horse whinnies in ecstasy.”)
How to Kill a Joke (and Your Boss) - Culture - GOOD
Is it too late for me to become a comedy writer, where you can render your boss as a horse masturbator and pitch it to his face?
Posted on January 5, 2012 with 1 note
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We hope you enjoy the flowers. It was cheaper than a cease-and-desist.
‘Spider-Man’ team not amused by Conan O’Brien - NYPOST.com
Conan O’Brien has been doing “previews” of the anticipated Spiderman musical on his show, which begat this passive-aggressive bouquet from the producers of the musical.
Posted on December 4, 2010 with 1 note
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You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. That’s Jay’s goal. The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that’s not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That’s the reality of it. We all think we’re pretty smart—Letterman and Conan and me—and Jay ultimately is the one that really is trying to do his job.
Jimmy Kimmel: The Anti-Leno: Celebrities: GQ
I’ve always loved Kimmel ever since he was the sidekick on Win Ben Stein’s Money. I sincerely hope that decades from now, when the Late Night War of 2010 comes up, people will remember that Kimmel dressed up as Leno to do a monologue on his show and he torched Leno on his 10 o’clock show. And for people who wondered why he got to fuck Sarah Silverman for years and years, does this answer the question?
Posted on December 3, 2010 with 1 note
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The Taiwanese animated news video people got wind of the Conan O’Brien spoofs of the Taiwanese animated news video and SHIT GOT SO FUCKING META ZOMG.
Where is Baudrillard when I need him?
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I love Jesse Eisenberg, the person. I remember his first interview on Conan after Squid and the Whale came out; he was absolutely so completely different from his character you instantly knew he was a fantastic actor. He’s hilarious in the clip here talking about his cat fostering guilt cycle.
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HAVE FUN.” This is something Conan often repeated in the final days. Have fun. With everyone watching now, he told us, “we have a chance to create some of the best comedy we’ve ever made.” So we continued to write jokes about our potential demise, even as the noose was tightening around our necks.
Exclusive: Todd Levin on How Conan O’Brien Got Screwed: Celebrities: GQ
Reading this gave me the worst willies. I remember vividly how it is to be associated with the demise of an enterprise. It’s like being on a vessel with no escape pods sinking into a quicksand. Slowly, the shape of things become unclear until the parts above the surface have no resemblance to the original venture, and you have to eat a lot of sand—thinking you’re going to die—until you’re on solid ground again.
The Tonight Show staff got decent severances, partly because Conan allocated some of his settlement with NBC to be used for staff severance. At least the show was dispatched a swift thwop to the head. I don’t even remember the number of tedious “Things are so bad we might have to lay people off” meetings I had to sit through before I actually got laid off.
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I was laid off 2 days before my birthday in 2009, a dismal blessing. I miss health insurance and payroll, but I haven't bought bread since the pink slip because I have time to bake.
Sometimes I'm a serious job hunter, sometimes a serious slacker, but mostly, I'm an underemployed, freelance Jaqueline of many trades including writing and dogsitting. Either way, I scrapbook my finds and activities here for your benefit and amusement.
Follow me on Twitter if tv/movie/pro-cycling spoilers and unplanned live tweets won't hail on your parade. And yes, I do work blue so don't be huffy with me if you don't like cursing or merciless roasting of public figures.
You can look at my other blog Fashion Corpuscle if you like fashion. The ruins of my crumbling Tumblr blog empire awaits internet archaeologists.
Gainful Unemployment is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
